7 Decades of Wisdom
…the best lessons passed on by my Mum.
My Mum, Donna Penrose turned 70 a few weeks ago.
I genuinely lucked out with her. Or, if you go in for the idea that we choose our parents before we’re born, holy sh*t did I choose well.
In honour of her seven decades on this planet, I’m sharing 10 extremely useful life lessons she’s taught me by example:
ASK QUESTIONS
When in doubt socially, draw people out by asking them open-ended questions. REALLY LISTEN and ask more. Great for networking too.WALK WALK WALK
She’s always had a penchant for walking to a destination whenever possible, not batting an eye at it taking an hour or so. As I child I resented this, especially because she moves at such a clip, but I’m now so glad for the habit.“WHAT’S REALLY GOING ON HERE?”
That’s something she’d ask me when I was having a meltdown when I was little, forcing me to be introspective and look for what was driving my reaction. Being aware of the question has been useful in how I handle myself and other people’s emotional reactions as an adult.GRIT
I wrote a whole piece on “How to get whatever you want according to my scientist mother”. TLDR: A scientist sticks with it. A scientist has the tenacity, the doggedness, the patience and (paradoxically) the faith to not give up. She says, "You may not get the result you think you wanted, but if you can muster the determination to exhaust all possible solutions, something will happen. And at that point it's a choice to change course, knowing you gave it a really good shot."HEED YOUR INSTINCTS
Okay this is a parenting one. From the time I was very young, she never made me hug or kiss adults I didn’t want to. She felt it was very important, that if I had bad vibes about someone, not to force me to override my instincts for the sake of politeness. By doing so, she gave me the huge gift of being able to TRUST MY INSTINCTS.WOMEN ARE AS SMART & CAPABLE AS MEN
She got her PhD in molecular biology and existed in a male-dominated scientific community, holding her own in the face of sexism.
LIFE-LONG LEARNING KEEPS YOU YOUNG
She started doing ballet in her 60s. She learned Spanish in her 50s. She became a theatre producer a few years ago to share the long-lost WWI love letters her grandfather wrote to her grandmother. She’s introspective and willing to try new things.PRIORITISE YOUR HEALTH
She survived colon cancer in her mid-40s. Pretty hands off as a parent, when I turned 30, she berated me to get a colonoscopy. I had several polyps. Unchecked they could have metastasised. IF YOU ARE PUTTING OFF A TEST/SOMETHING CHECKED OUT, LISTEN TO DONNA: DELAY NO MORE.HOST GRACIOUSLY
She makes incredible meals and snacks and knows how to put people at ease, welcoming them warmly and giving them what they need.LOVE WITH FEROCITY
She expresses it in words, in actions like searching for hours to find a pair of boots I left in her house and thought I’d lost and like marching into a dance studio to call out a teacher who made me cry.
I hope these lessons from Donna resonate with you.
I’m sending much love and good wishes to those of you missing your Mums, who’ve lost Mums, or who don’t have the relationship you’d like with your Mum.
And to the Mums reading this (including mine), I salute you.
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